Well, so much for my attempt at blogging once a week! I think it’s been almost 2 months since my last post. Leaves are covering my deck and driveway as fall and October are coming upon us quickly here in Nashville.
I know, like me, many of you are overwhelmed by the events around the world that are like nothing we’ve known. I think that’s partially why I haven’t written. In the midst of some incredibly disturbing times, we have to keep going on with our lives in our little corners of the world. The anniversary of 9/11 and so much of what’s going on across the globe weighs on us in ways that I don’t think we’re even aware of. In cities like Ferguson, MO and in my hometown of Memphis fear and hopelessness are knocking louder and louder at our doors.
It’s unthinkable that while we were dumping ice on ourselves, Christians were being slaughtered. Tomorrow marks two years that Pastor Saeed remains in prison and in danger. It’s all too much to wrap our hearts and minds around on most days. Yet, we wake up to another sunrise on another day and look for reasons to hope while love those who come our way. Even though I try speaking out and doing what I can to stand against the evil that’s raging, I still have a helpless feeling as I watch it all on the news.
As I sat down to write on a perfect day in Nashville, I’m reminded of some of the “big moments” I’ve had as a mom the past 6 weeks against the backdrop of such heaviness. I know that trying to “catch up” is pretty hard to do….it’s like trying to go back and fill in your journal, yet another place I’ve never been consistent in writing!
I’ve already been to California twice to see my son as the starting Center for Stanford. That first snap in the first game was pretty surreal for me. I don’t know when I’ll get used to seeing him on the field or on national television. I decorated our living room in so much Stanford swag for the second game that Benji made fun of me. FYI, My tv is not this big, this was done using a projector on the wall. This doesn’t look so crazy, but believe me, if you saw the dining room and the foyer, you may agree with Benji that I went a little over the top!
Benji’s almost fully recovered from his surgery and has some exciting opportunities on the horizon that I’ll hopefully be able to share next time. The Nashville Treehouse is growing and brings more joy to my heart than I would’ve ever imagined. In the midst of that we’ve lost members of our community and heard the news that the cancer is back with a loved one. Another reminder that life is such a mixed bag… it’s so bittersweet most of the time.
So, I wanted to at least write something today for those of you who’ve connected with me here. I have a simple truth to share with you that I’m sure is a reminder to most of you, but as I’m nearing the end of my “child rearing” days with my boys, I’m more and more convinced that the years I poured my life into them matter. Those years in the trenches…. THEY COUNT!!! Hang in there!!!!
As I watch from a VIP seat, I see my sons move towards their own journeys as young men. I’m becoming more of a “consultant” and especially with my 21 year old, learning to have an adult friendship with him. Especially with Graham, my job as a mama is becoming simplified in many ways after almost 22 years.
A few weeks ago before I said goodbye to him in Palo Alto, I sat with him at breakfast and talked to him about how much I love him and believe in him with tears streaming down my face. I was grateful that we had a seat that no one could really see me because as hard as I tried, I couldn’t stop the tears. My job at this point is to speak life to him about who he is and to love him unconditionally regardless of whether or not I agree with all of his choices. Strangely enough, it’s getting easier and easier to do. As I tried to explain to him, the more I trust God with him, the more peace I have and the more pure love I feel for him that is not tied to anything that he does or doesn’t do. As simple as it is, it’s always a huge reminder for me that if I can love my son that way, how much more does God love me that way and give me grace to love those around me? “Perfect love casts out fear” takes on a whole new meaning for me these days and as Rob Bell and Bob Goff both so eloquently say… “Love Wins” and “Love Does”!
So, love everybody you can today!
PS. Check out my “BoyMama Weekend” video and please consider joining us at The Nashville Treehouse in a few weeks!